Let me paint you a picture. It’s the late 2000s, and a neighbour has invited you and your family to their New Years Eve party. Being the awkward youngster you are, you don’t want to hang around all the adults and their socialization. So, instead, you join a gaggle of fellow kids and head to the TV where, sitting on a shelf in a little white box, a Wii can be found. Your neighbour’s kid hunts through the shelf’s many DVD cases and video game boxes until finally, they pull out a little disc in a sleeve. That disc is Wii Sports, and for the rest of the evening, you and the other children stay huddled around the TV, taking turns throwing bowling balls and batting baseballs.
Sound familiar?
To this day, Nintendo’s Wii console remains a staple of childhood for many 2000s kids and teens. With 101 million consoles having been sold worldwide, chances were that if you didn’t have one, someone you knew certainly did. And, because almost every Wii came with a complimentary copy of Wii Sports (2006), the game has become nearly as nostalgic as the console itself.
Starting with five game modes, those being tennis, boxing, golf, baseball, and bowling, people already had a variety of games to play. However, in 2009, Nintendo released Wii Sports Resort, a more comprehensive version with another 10 modes: canoeing, wakeboarding, power cruising, cycling, table tennis, archery, swordplay, basketball, frisbee, and air sports.
So, given that it’s been over ten years since either title’s release, I’d like to revisit these classic titles from my childhood, ranking the different modes and minigames to boot. Here Wii go!
From lowest to highest, we have…
6. Golf
To be perfectly honest, I’m not a huge fan of golf in Wii Sports. Though appearing in both Wii Sports games, I find it a bit bland and, well… uninspired. The locales all feel pretty much the same, and the more difficult levels still don’t really pose much of a challenge. That said, I can understand why so many people really enjoy the golf game. It’s arguably the most calm, stress-free game mode in both versions, and having to factor in wind, force, and angling makes for a lot of variety in gameplay. Plus, the noise it makes when you hit the golf ball is oddly satisfying, which really enhances the whole golfing experience.
Enjoyment Rating: 6.8/10 pars.
5. Archery
As a bit of an archery enthusiast myself, I can confidently state that Wii Sports archery is nothing like regular archery. And that’s okay. While certainly different than regular archery, the archery game mode is a fun, challenging, and welcome addition to the Wii Sports collection. Utilising both the Wiimote and nunchuck accessory, you aim and draw to hit a target as per usual, looking to land your arrow in the center. However, the way aiming works in-game is that a thin white circle will slowly close around the direction you’re aiming, which will start to flash when you need to shoot. This makes it much easier than genuine archery, but with moving targets and incredible distances, the game mode makes up for this simplicity in other ways.
However, my personal favourite aspect of Wii Sports archery is that you can completely disregard the intended target and instead aim for hidden items in the distance (some examples being a watermelon, cantaloupe, or even a cake,) to aim at instead, giving you a full 10pts if you manage to hit it. It’s a nice way to make each mode just a bit more difficult.
Enjoyment Rating: 8/10 arrows.
4. Air Sports
There are three kinds of air sport modes offered in Wii Sports Resort, but there’s one in particular I’d like to highlight; island flyover.
For me, island flyover has a lot of nostalgia. It’s the game mode I’ve spent the most time playing, and the one I return to most. But even when ignoring my personal bias towards it, island flyover is just a well-crafted, fun, and simple explore-and-collect activity. You fly around Wuhu island looking for little info icons scattered in caverns, around landmarks, and anywhere else of note, with no time limit to boot. But even if you ignore the objective entirely, choosing to fly around the island (either doing tricks or just seeing the sights,) has enough intrigue to be a game of its own.
Rating: 8.5/10 propellors.
3. Bowling
Ah, a true classic.
Being one of two game modes that joined the Wii Sports Resort roster from the original, it has proven itself a staple of the franchise, and for good reason. Frankly, the sheer number of memes made about or with clips from Wii Sports bowling is a testament to its popularity and impact on pop culture. But onto the mechanics. With the basic premise of regular bowling (lining up shots to knock down as many pins as possible), though with added options of barriers and the 100 pin mode, it’s easy an easy mode to jump into for anyone who wants to play casually. Oh, and the little collective gasp and jump when you, erm, “accidentally” roll the ball into the observing Miis behind you is genuinely hilarious.
Enjoyment Rating: 8.7/10 strikes.
2. Table Tennis
I’ve played a lot of virtual table tennis back in the day, so I’m a wee-bit partial to this one. But anyways. Improving upon the tennis game in Wii Sports (the original), table tennis allows for complete control over the angle of your “paddle” when you swing, something that wasn’t quite met with tennis. Sometimes the motion controls are a little finnicky, but of all the games that use a Wiimote Plus, this is the one that I find works the best.
There is also more strategy involved with this mode than in most others, as the variety of different angles and strength behind each hit leads to more variables than, say, Wii Sports basketball, baseball, or bowling, but ultimately the game is simple and sweet in its design; making it fun for people of all skill levels.
Enjoyment Rating: 9/10 paddles.
Bonus: Honourable Mention
A game mode that didn’t make the list that I’d like to at least mention is canoeing, as while the actual races were unbearably dull, searching for 10 chirping lil' ducklings in the tutorial was an absolute blast. They were just so darn cute!
1. Swordplay
Swordplay is broken down into three minigames, “Duel”, “Speed Slice”, and “Showdown”. These are collectively my favourite game mode.
First, duel.
The dueling minigame is fairly simple, where two players (or a player and an NPC,) duke it out on a small, raised platform above the ocean. Despite its lack of complexity, angling all your parries and swinging your sword just right can be such a joy. The satisfaction of getting a hit is incredibly rewarding; each ‘tink’ and ‘clink’ slowly moving you towards your goal of pushing your opponent off the edge. The mechanics all come together to create an incredibly smooth and enjoyable experience. You really need to play it for yourself to understand. Plus, you get to see some soaked and dejected Miis, which is always hilarious—especially when you can do a little victory dance with your sword to really rub salt in their proverbial wounds.
Second, speed slice.
When it comes to tilting your controller, speed slice requires just as much precision as duel, only this time with the added challenge of needing to swing swiftly. In this mode, you are tasked with slicing assorted objects in the correct direction (marked by an arrow on the object) faster than your opponent until you’ve reached a specific quota. And trust me, your speed will undoubtably be put to the test. Though some might disagree, I’d argue that this minigame is less complex than duel, but definitely more tense—which, in the context of a party game, makes the experience all the better. The accuracy of the Wiimote Plus really makes for a heap of fun, as you genuinely feel like you’re swinging a sword; not just clicking a button at the right time, but ACTUALLY moving.
And last, though certainly not least, showdown.
To put it simply, showdown is a rush of dopamine guised as a minigame. It can either be a hack-and-slash assault or dueling bout depending on the level you choose to play, but regardless, hewing down a bunch of Miis without remorse is an utter blast. It reminds me of the combat system of The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, only this time with more responsive motion controls. As another plus, the music in showdown easily the most intense of any Wii Sports game, so that’s a bonus if you really want to feel the pressure.
The only critique I can think to mention is that it’s a bit repetitive, given how the only goal is literally to run around different Wuhu Island locales decimating hordes of Miis, but trust me; it never gets old.
Rating: 9.9/10 hearts.
In Conclusion...
To be perfectly honest, choosing which sports even made this list was a struggle. Each game mode and minigame has its own little charms, and if you prefer one that wasn’t included here, I really can’t blame you.
Er, unless it’s power cruising, because gosh that one is drab.
But that’s beside the point. I hope this listicle inspired you to dust off the ol' Wii Sports disc and click some fresh batteries into your Wiimote, as why not revisit these lovely games from time to time? They’re simply too good not to.
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