For many people, the holidays are a time to look forward to. Even with the stresses of meal planning, travel, and gift giving, many of us still find it to be a happy time of year. But that isn’t always the case. For some people, the holidays can be a difficult and emotionally exhausting time.
Patterns of increased rates of depression during the holidays have been documented by doctors and mental health professionals for years.
Why does this happen? When the holidays come around, they bring a variety of events, social interactions and challenges. Sometimes the resulting stress has to do with the pressure of how many responsibilities someone has. In other cases, it can be tied to complicated memories of the past or anxiety about family gatherings.
The holidays are a stereotypically cheerful time when everyone is meant to be surrounded by loved ones and enjoying every second of the season. But when someone isn’t feeling happy or cheerful, or if they can’t be near their loved ones, the apparent cheer surrounding them can make them feel even more down, and often alone with their feelings – which deepens symptoms of depression.
The holiday months are spent differently by everyone, and personal circumstances play a big part in how and why someone may experience stress or sadness.
Some reasons why people would feel this way during this time of year could be because:
· Generalized stress (this may be due to responsibilities, more social interactions, and less time to relax and recharge)
· Physical and mental fatigue
· Pressures of perceived obligations (may be related to travel, meal planning, gift giving and more)
· Financial stress
· High expectations – often caused by the exaggerated portrayal of the holidays on TV, in movies, the media and on social media
· Travel stress
· Stressful family gatherings
· First holiday season after the passing of someone you love
· Loneliness
· Disappointment over not being able to see family and friends
· Pandemic isolation and worries about gathering safely
But aside from the holidays, many people experience something called Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) with a seasonal pattern (also known as seasonal affective disorder). Seasonal affective disorder is clinical depression that tends to appear in the late fall and can last until early spring. It’s known to be linked with changes in light during the wintertime, so it’s more common in northern climates. The limited exposure to natural light can impact our body’s rhythms and neurochemical balance. It can change your perspective when the days seem shorter, darkness lasts longer, and cold weather keeps us cooped up indoors.
Difficult relationships are tested during the holidays, especially when it comes to families, but there are ways you can prepare. It’s okay to decline an invitation or to leave an event early. Setting those boundaries is important, just be upfront that it’s important to you to attend but that you’ll be leaving before the end.
It’s okay to say no to attending an event you don’t feel comfortable with, you can’t make everyone happy so just do the best you can. If you’re honest and open, it’s easier to get through these difficult events feeling like you’ve done your best and you’re more likely to get some enjoyment out of them.
If you’re feeling anxious about a large gathering, spend time with those you have good relationships with. Focus your attention on people you feel comfortable with. And maybe find an ally with whom you can share your feelings of anxiety. They can give you reassurance and help steer around difficult topics of conversation or an awkward interaction. This can be a family member, a close friend, or a counselor.
- Anbmt
Whether you’re estranged from your family, must spend the holiday apart from them, or don’t have much family, you still don’t have to be alone during the holidays. Family isn’t just about the one you’re born into, it’s also about the people you connect with. Spend time with your chosen family, the people who bring you happiness and joy.
And if you can’t be there in person, there are other ways to stay in touch. Whether it’s a phone call or video chat, there are ways you can stay connected.
Social media can give us a skewed perspective on the lives of others and, consequently, our own lives at any time of year. But this is particularly true during the holidays. What you’re seeing on social media is just a highlight reel of someone’s holiday. You don’t see the sweat and stress that went into it, and you can’t make assumptions about their level of happiness.
Cutting down on social media can help you cut down on your own stress. It can relieve you of feeling like you must live up to something. Remind yourself that the holidays are about connecting, quality time and sharing joy with others and not just one ‘perfect’ photo. Holiday depression can become a full depression disorder if not treated properly, talking to a therapist during this time can help majorly. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself competing with other people when there’s a whole second side not shown in their perspective, it will lead up to depression and anxiety.
Just remember, you aren’t obligated to have a perfect holiday, and that doesn’t make you any less or person or any less valuable to the people in your life.
Comments